Ode to the Salt Bagel

OK that is a bit of a cheat (as a title) because I don't have the brain power/will power to compose a magnificent ode to the king of bagels -- that has been usurped by an impostor of the cinnamon raisin variety.

Let me first lay out my analysis of the Bagel family:
Pretender: Cinnamon Raisin
King: Salt
Queen: Plain (ideally Challah)
Princess: Poppyseed
Neurotic Princess: Whole Wheat
Schizophrenic Princess: Everything
Prince: Sesame
Slave: Onion (I am really against the idea of bastardizing a bagel with onion. Morning breath is bad enough).

Pretty self explanatory, no?

Now, I would like to take this opportunity to lament the lack of Salt Bagels populating the streets and delis of New York. Today, I entered no fewer than FIVE delis and discovered -to my utmost horror- that there were NO SALT BAGELS. Every other member of the bagel family was present. Queen, Pretender, Princess, Neurotic Princess, Schizophrenic Princess, Prince, and Slave...all were there. With a variety of cream cheeses to crown them, from lox, to tofutti.

[Personally, I like my bagels before coronation. Much easier to deal with.]

At Cosi, they even had an Obese Princess (that's what I'll christen the Chocolate Chip Bagel). The Obese Princess was pretty damn good, I must say, but still not quite at the level of the Bagel King.

So wherefore art thou, Salt Bagel? Isn't New York meant to be famous for these delicious-but probably lethal for your kidneys-creations, brought over from Europe to fill the stomachs of New Yorkers every morning? Or are people becoming so health conscious they'll take the Princess when they could have the King?

This is certainly a subject for further consideration.
An article on the demise of a former New York staple beckons.

Yet all is not lost. There are several outlets which do indeed have what I seek.

Leo's Bagels, in FiDi has a most delicious, and fluffily and beautifully encrusted salt bagel.

Murray's Bagels, all over the village and Chelsea, have a similarly eye-popping creation. Their lines are too long for my weak stamina. As there is a baked good stand next door, I frequently cave in to the lure of chocolate muffins.

Zaro's Bakery, with locations throughout the city, is decent if you REALLY have a craving. Otherwise, avoid. Unless you like eating rubber. Which is what bagels become if they are a few days old.

Breadstix cafe, at 23rd and 8th street, has a similar story. Their bagels are also extremely tiny. I apologize for the lack of hyperlink.

A delicious bagel shop located at the corner of Remsen and Henry(?) in Brooklyn Heights is where I had my salt bagel epiphany, but the name escapes me at present.

I may have to resort to this to find more outside of the Chelsea/Downtown area.

So for now, no ode - just (very eloquent) complaining.